[[*---Swirling in the abyss of Darkness---*]]

Sunday, October 29, 2006

[[yet again.]]

as u can see from the time of the post...u cn tell dat its quite early. sianz...4 hrs of slp yesterday is getting to my head...feels heavy...think slower. dno whether the exceptionally dry eyes have anything to do with lack of slp anot...bud yea my eyes are veh dry...im squinting it like mad...guess my eyes are gonna turn small sooner or later.

haiz...honestly i gotta repeat myself all over again. life is really short. so everyone of you should try your best to live it to the fullest and without regrets. honestly if there is something that u want to do...just quickly decide whether u dare to do it or not. if u dare then just go for it...summon out all your courage...at least u tried...so even if u fail...at least u would stop brooding over the stupid thing...mulling over it for no apparent reason. if u dun dare...den just let things stay the way it is...since u already decided that u dun dare its equivalent to giving up already. especially in some situations...whereby u have to actually consider would it do you any good even if u do it...if even u yourself know that it would never come to a good ending if it went this way then might as well stop it. so for impossible things...its alright to occasionally dream of things...but obviously if dun bother about it so much for its not gonna change any thing. although sometimes u might live to regret not trying...always bear in mind that the decision not to try was yours and yours alone thus you shouldnt even be regretting for u did wht u chose to. wake up to reality people...time will nvr turn...history will nvr change...what happened shall nvr change...but wht will happen always have the possibility of changing. u can nvr be cleared of all regrets...bud of course you are able to minimise it. rather u live life with some bit of regret...rather than to regret living your life.

zzz...think i am going mad liao lahh...i dun even seem to be making sense to myself. someone tell me whether i am making sense? whtever...desperately need rest...living zombie...awake in the silents of the night...only to hear the whispers of the wind. i am tired...i wanna sleep...but im forcing myself to go on...wht for? dun ask for i dunno the answer to it too. "hurt" by christina aguilera is nice...when u are alone in the darkness u close your eyes and listen to it...quite cool. go get the song...if you cannot get it can come ask me for it.

living with regrets is better than to regret living.
__fiEryhA__

[[ Branched ]]*|3:17 AM|

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

[[late hours.]]

suddenly just feel like blogging after snooping around other people's blogs. but sadly i have no inspirations at all of what i am going to blog about yet. hopefully as i type on i might be able to come to some proper things.

guess the most current "craze" now for the sec4s would most likely be the oncoming olevels. damn...why must there be such exams...man it just pulls the fun out of life...it destroys people's lives. nvm i know whatever i say won't make any difference because its still going to be taking place. its slightly thrilling and nerve wreaking considering the fact that there isn't any time left already but i still havent started my revision and all the crap. i am just praying that i am not being too complacent after the prelims. nahh i am sure im not...right?

people keep complaining that there's not enough time for them to study...yet for me it seems like i have alot of time...but i don't seem to be doing anything meaningful with em. i sincerely believe that with my supreme intellect and marvellous memory...all i need is a slight bit of enthusiasm from some mad mugger and i should be a 6pointer liao...wow am i thick skinned or what? everyone who read this please don't answer to it. obviously its a rhetorical question because we all know that isnt true.

i think i am becoming more and more noctournal. am i? i've been sleeping at about 3-4am lately. guess you would be thinking that it isnt your problem right? -.-" i dno why...but i might have almost gotten over it already...usually when i stay up late i would start thinking about things. especially about it. but recently it has never crossed my mind at all. wonder why. although i still feel weird...considering the fact that i am always walking pass that particular spot. can't blame me for it right? i guess anyone in my shoe would feel the same.

i am addicted to the serenity or the night and my songs. u know...in the middle of the night...u look at and it almost seem as though everything is still. then u play your music...and u can hear it clearly...as u carry on staring out into the horizon...occasionally looking up at the beautiful night sky. it bring u some sort of peaceful and calming effect. i think. guess it would be best if there was the moon to accompany. oh and by the way...the magnificiant haze have been amplifying the effect of the scenery lately.

haiz...sadly at this time no one is chatting with me online...so i am honestly feeling very bored. and lonely. so i guess my musics are just there to help better express my mood. actually i find it great to listen to sad depressing musics when u are sad and depressed...it makes me feel alot better. but alot of people disagree with it. do you agree with me? u know the feeling...when u are sad...thinking about whatever sad incidents that happened...and the music compliments your mood...doesnt that make you feel better?

time really flies ehh? dumb as it may seem...but i just remembered the fact that i am secondary four and that this is my last year in this school already...or rather only about 1month more. thinking back about these four years i have spent in cchms...i seriously regret wasting my two years of lower sec...i might have been able to enjoy it more if only i had been more "active". basically i really enjoyed my upper sec life...when things in school finally made me a much happier person...when i finally looked forward to going to school...when i actually made friends...when i really bonded alot more with track members and my classmates. really saddened by the fact that im leaving. guess its really true that people only truly appreciate and realised the people/things around them either when they're about to lose it or when they have already lost it.

learn to appreciate and treasure the people/things around you before you lose them.
__fiEryhA__

[[ Branched ]]*|2:50 AM|

Monday, October 09, 2006

[[omg.]]

finally a post after so very very long.

stopped during the prelims...then after prelims relax and stuffs...getting back all the crappy results...boring debriefs. followed by slacking relaxing having fun blah blah blah...and now finally i got time to add another post!

kkz lets see now. prelims are officially over...rough idea of how i did already...which i assume wud be 14. dats...erm...quite shocking for me. considering the fact that i studied one day before every paper. was quite stressful...had to fully stretch the potential of my STM...its like reach home study...then eveing sleep...then after dinner resume studying...at abt 11pm then go sleep le and pray all the best for the nxt day.

seriously i gotta do smth abt my combined humanities...i cnt juz let it pull everything down. chemistry was disappointing...didnt expect to get a b3...was expecting an a1...lolx. kk i shall stop dreaming. aye and nxt up wud be the dreaded olvls...haiz. heng both my maths so tyco get quite gd results...or else this prelims i will be very much dead.

stress..........life is stressful..............dammit. sometimes people do things that dun seem to be putting stress on the others...and might even seem to be trying to reduce the stress. it might also be encouraging and stuffs...bud i feel more pressure instead lolx. no idea why...but i hate the feeling that many eyes are on me...telling me not to be stressed, to do my best and that wud be enough already...but it juz give me more stress to try nt to disappoint them.

been very busy slacking and all recently...so no time to blog. bud anyway...no idea whether thr wud be anymore posts after this before the olvls. we shall see...

once we learn to die. we'll learn how to live.
__fiEryhA__

[[ Branched ]]*|4:55 PM|