dats how the world works. often whenever you're needed everyone wud be all arnd u. whenever u aint needed u wud often find urself being alone. u all mayb be great buddies one day. doin everything together. bud yet...after some time...u might find urself being sorta invisibe in their presence. even wht i say wud be unheard. wht i type wud be unseen. so wht if im nt gd in it. does my presence hav to be redundant. u cn be loyal to others and try ur best to be by dem whenever dey nid help. yet u cnt guarantee dem to repay u in the same way. many times dey wud forget the gd things u done yet bear all the grudges. dats the ugly side to human nature.
feeling like juz an extra burden to the earth. only purpose in life is to waste earth's resources. sometimes i wonder whether imma robot frm mars.receiving calls frm mars everyday asking "stupid robot. hav u finished using up all of earth's resources yet?"
this entry's basically crap cuz i've got nth else btr ta do. best place to be whenever i m pissed of. blogging like destress liddat. tool for venting and commenting.
death is but the beginning.
__fiEryhA__
haiz...wadd a fabulous day it is today...i sprained my ankle. owww! ouch! cnt even stand straight and place it flat. sianz...now swollen le. hurting like mad siah. small matter only lar o.O siao liao la...combined sports meet so near i stiu dare to sprain ankle...pro yea? bud rites...starting to think i cn only get 2 silvers at the most. gold ar...no confidence at all le. go ahead and laugh at me lo...carry on saying i go cca for nth de lo...wun win first de lo...i dun mind le.
life's fill wid crap. wid ppl who no idea why...juz wanna kpkb for nth. outta the blue. juz cuz dey tink dey speak wid "depth" on msn. sick and tired of it la. somemore crap is those damn dulan kind...nt at all humorous. tink u veh funny mehh.
life's getting bored. more nad more ppl arnd seem to hav found their own goals and things to hope for. things which dey await in anticipation to happen. in which dey enjoy every single second of the process. something which dey wish wud nvr end. one which goes on. or things which dey are working hard on. which dey are determined to see happen. me on the ader hand...wandering abt aimlessly and blindly...sometimes banging into the wall or tripping and falling.
juz so sianz. bud i bet my certain buddy is having a ball of a time wid his stead siah. so happy for him. at least thr's something happy to tink of today. glad dat he's one of those who hav found at least a beam of light in his life. a force to drive him on. someone for him to protect and care for. to shower wid all his love. to be thr for him. to share weals and woes. to look forward to seeing each day. to tink abt every single sec of his life. one who keeps him alive. who is the essence of his life. whom he cnt live without. =D
ankle stiu hurting like crazy -.-"
death is but the beginning.
__fiEryhA__
told ya guys i was strong. back to health liao. see la...all cry whole nite for me rites...cry until all eyes red red puffy puffy...tell u all dunnit worry liao. all confirm tossing and turning in bed worrying abt my health rites...omg siah i suddenly become so bhb...like anyone cares. -.-"
hmm...realised dat my recent posts all quite happy rites...wonder why. muz be the full moon effect larr...(blame everything on the moon) mayb its due to the hols den less stress...so more relaxed and happy bahh. bud cnt too happy...muz always be abit sad or smth de...cuz when u happy den the head high up in the clouds...liddat veh easy to trip and fall de.
the hols also nt veh gd...same things everyday...nt like school so "happening" rites. sku cn witness alot of things de...den got ups and downs de...like roller coaster liddat...veh exciting de. as if. lolx. ups veh easy larr...frenz. stuffs. especially gals o.O" joking joking. downs also veh easy larr...hw. chers. quarrels. blah blah blah...and the list goes on.
omg...tml cfm 100% + guarantee chop dead liao. basically i only managed to finish chem...amaths done abit niah. the rest arrr...dun tok abt it. almost everyone i ask tell me "dis one done liao...dat one done liao...left abit only...blabber blabber" i hear liao hor...den i resign to fate liao la...cfm gg le. to add on to my misery...i hav only JUST been told to hav bio test on the 2nd period tml...when i dun even hav my tb or any notes wid me! study wht u tell me! how to study u tell me! how to pass u teach me! woah...i so jidong siah. relax...relax...lolx. at most fail only wht...nt like nvr fail before rites...bud i dowan to fail liao...zzz.
doesnt matter larrr...life goes on yea? lolx. i really veh "high" rites...cfm stiu the full moon effect larr.
__fiEryhA__
cuz im so sick...nope its nt neyo...its the literal one dis time. head spinning yet stiu blogging siah...i m juz so strong. haha. having fever asthma cough flu muscle ache headache. cheh...liddat only...small thing la. as if...-.-" dun worry dun worry abt me my frenz out thr...dun cry...i wun die de...i shall live to brighten all ur days...dun be so sad for me...bleahx...as if anyone cares.
haiz...clan Rebirth lost the game. sad sad. dun hav me lo....if i went to play den cfm win liao (i must be dreaming). at least dey won 4 matches...didnt lose in the first game veh good already. got save dat slight tinsy winsy bit of face.
omg siah...today is saturday liao lehh. told u all holidays will pass like lightning liddat wan rites. see la..dun believe me..all so excited abt holiday for wht. diee liao lar. i hav not done a single hw yet...omg. how HOW hoW!!! either i do dem all tml...or else i gg liao. i considering nt doin any...mayb do only those veh easy de. slackers out there! who dun intend to do tell me! pei me together die! (joking) i dowan to diee...i do abit...those the cher veh fierce de den i do. smart rites? no...actually...i shld ask...WHO WILLING TO HELP ME DO?! if u hav indeed considered helping me after u read dis...i salute u...for u are truly my gd fren...*sniff sniff* (doubt it anyway) and rmb dun lie to urself hor...nvr thought of helping den juz admit...dun tell lies. ltr ur nose like dat human-wannabe wooden dude Pinocchio den u noe siah.
__fiEryhA__
long time no blog. anyone missed me? i doubt it. anyway erm...welcome holiday. i m not gonna be enthu abt it...cuz at the age of 16...i understand dat it will be over veh soon and dat i will not enjoy it at all...especially dis yr. frm the beginning till nw...my days hav been quite...quiet? muz i always be the thick-skinned one to msg some lame msges to u guys before we cn like sms each ader. why cn't it be the ader way round. wht...m i nt gd enuff a fren to even be bothered wif? aye...bud since i said quite...it means dat thr are actually true frenz who bothered whether i died during these 3 days which passed. may it be juz sending me a one word msg or a lame joke. haiz...anyway...it doesnt really matter...after all i been through my lower sec life wid only a small bunch of guys. honestly my present state is alrdy considered an improvement. ha...ha...ha...
saturday...total waste of time...bud i love it. basically laying abt in the hse after i woke up...family was out...loner at home. on the com...waiting for ppl to tok to me...bud thr wasn't. decided instead to drown in blasting musics...i understand dat i m suppose to be spending my time wisely by doin hw and stuffs...sadly...i m in no mood for dem. stiu unable to gear up and prepare for the upcoming Os...
sunday...tuition in the morning and out the rest of the day. went visiting pri sku cher wid pri sku frenz. had a fun time. bud stiu no signs frm sec sku frenz...basically i spent the day like dat.
monday...track training in the morning...climbed up and down the stairs...climbed on the track...on all fours. palm red and swollen bud i feel no pain...for i m hollow. went for dental checkup in the afternoon and reached home at abt 3. played wid cept and nic till dinner time. had tuition after dinner. blogging nw apparently.
weird...suddenly decided my holiday till nw. which is juz 3 days larr. haiz...feeling darn sianz so juz carpping to make it longer...oh ya...before i forget...congratz to a certain fren of mine who found new confidence in his love affiars. dun bother askin mi who...as if i wud say it. my slpin time getting ltr and ltr alrdy...frm usual 1plus to 2plus...my life is really gonna be messed up...
__fiEryhA__
seeing things around me. hearing things around me. feeling all around me. there's always a time when everything seemed to go against u. disappointment are foreordained. pinned high hopes on it. worked hard for the first time. determined to score. falling flat on my face. hard. dun understand...am i juz pure dumb or didnt i try hard enough. i am just human.
its almost like i'm having split personalities. at home and in school. almost like i'm putting up a show when i'm out. wearing a mask. things dun necessary mean wht it seems to be. sometimes, there's juz something hidden deeper. nt wanting to be known. nt wanting to be brought up. why have i become like that...unable to be wht i wan to be. actually...i dun even know what i want to be. give me a break...i nid time for a breather...imma gonna choke to death. i am just human.
stressful year dis is. everyone around me is stressed. tension is high. may it be due to studies or personal affiars. bud one thing for sure. i am indeed stressed out. day after day passes by as not much time is left. fear is building up within me. no one would ever understand the things i am facing. my problem may seem small bud yet the pressure emanating from it...only me can understand it. dun bother asking me about it. u wun understand it anyway. some people just prefer to bottle things up within their heart. constant pounding of headaches. used to it. numb. stop pushing me up the wall. those words aint encouraging at all. dey are getting scary. becoming cuspate. tearing at my brain. honestly...i am just human...only a 16 yr old teen.
__fiEryhA__
interestng day it has been. spent my day stoning at home...laying abt nearly everywhr...the stairs. bed. sofa. chairs. floor. soft toys. carpet etc blah blah. the stairs are quite comfortable i'd say...wonder why i didnt realise dat early...hmmm. packed half my things lying abt. neater room siah. most memorable thing i did today arrr. muz be the time whn i stood on the balcony...staring out at the clear blue sky...the clouds were slowly drifting high above...thr was a slight breeze...everythng out thr seemed so small...moment of relaxation to rmb.
__fiEryhA__
hcl.devastated.31.shocked.impossible.true. facing up to reality...my hcl result aint gd. well...let nature take its course and see hw the rest of the papers score first. getting cold feet juz tinkin abt Os. huge pressure on me. big stress. high tension. u cn nvr imagine. wanna study bud dun hav the mood to. bz wk dis hav been...things whirling past mi...leaving me breathless. no time at all to stop and take a breather. ppl arnd mi seem to hav their own goals...may it be short term or long term. me on the ader hand. hav no idea wht i wan...totally confused.
in the journey called life. thr are always times when u hav to decide and make a choice. if u wan to do it. go ahead! no one ish stopping u. understand dat if u dun choose...ur mind wun evr be able to focus on one ting and u might end up wid nth. settle one ting and proceed to the ader. take things slow and easy. life is harsh as it cn be alrdy. stop making it worse. juz do it.
__fiEryhA__
woots. ct over liao. today my bdae!!! wahahaha...received lotsa bdae greetings frm all of my frenz. so happi siah! lurvee all of my frenz! veh "cool" and "touching" jigsaw puzzle my juniors made fer mi. hahahaha. 500 pieces de. actually quite big de. lolx! =DDD
praying hard for ct cuz i did actually put in abit of effort to study fer it...hope nth goes wrng bahhs. omg...i m so dead siah...suppose to pack e.maths and chem prac files...and nid to redo my recount essay...by friday! bud tml i goin out most prob till nites...whr go time...u tell mi larrr -.-"
ppl listen up. those owe mi present de muz gib hor! jk lahh. hahahha. to receive ur "blessings" were enuff le! bud those who insist on giving i wun mind accepting de =P (who in the rite mind would reject O.o) wahahaha.
tink dis muz be the happiest msg i nvr posted siah...lolx...muz be due to full moon effect larr...(i tok cock de...dun even hav full moon tonite -.-" ) bleahx! =)))
__fiEryhA__
x--01/03/90 pisces
x--seventeen
x--olvl 9pointer LOL
x--eccentric and abnormal
x--fiery_blue@hotmail.com
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